Adaptions and developments to our Thriller Idea

We aim to change our idea slightly, but just play on different ideas but sticking to the main story line. By developing our ideas it will make it a lot easier to create, also the narrative will be chronological/linear so a lot easier to film than a flashback. It is also a lot more viable to film  in 2 minutes. The flow of the opening will be much smoother and leave a more anonymous ending, ready for the rest of the film.

Our initial Idea.

• Girl working in a cafe. (soft music to be playing in background)
• A shot to establish who she is, and her name on the name tag, 'Summer'.
• Over the shoulder shot of man watching her and taking pictures of her in his car.
• Flash shot of a wall covered in pictures of the girl.
• Man follows the girl home.
• He follows her into her home.
• Shot of unlocked padlock on the gate.
• Shot of the man continuing through the gate.
• Black flash, scream from girl.
• Shot of man driving home in pick up truck.
• Shot of her foot moving in the back, to imply she is still alive.

Changes to our idea.

• Girl working in a cafe. (soft music to be playing in background)
• A shot to establish who she is, and her name on the name tag, 'Summer'.
• Over the shoulder shot of man watching her and taking pictures of her in his car.
• Flash shot of a wall covered in pictures of the girl.
• Man follows the girl home.
• He sits in his car and watches her enter her house.
• He drives home.
• He gets home.
• He hears movement upstairs. (music changes to create tension)
• He goes upstairs.
• Goes into the room with the wall of photos, with the girl dead in.
• Flash of the Title 'Summers End'
• Panning shot of the man's face looking worried.

We changed our idea because we were not 100% happy with our first idea. The storyline was not going anywhere and we had no plan for the rest of the film. There also would have been no mystery and more of an action film rather than a thriller. It also leaves a cliff hanger to who killed the girl in his house and how they got back to his house quicker than he did.
We have thought about the music and that we didn't want to use diegetic sound in the first scene apart from maybe the scream when the girl is killed.However by using no music it creates more tension.
We want to call our Film 'Summer's End'. It implies that it is Autumn/Winter and that Summer has passed but also that the girl's name is Summer, and even from the first scene and the title you know something is going to happen to Summer. It creates direct association. It is Summer's life that ends.